Saturday morning March 7

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We are on the cusp of the Third Sunday of Lent and I must admit that the gospel for this weekend -- the Samaritan Woman at the Well with Jesus -- is not one of my favorite stories, at least at this point in my priesthood.  I don't remember if I ever thought otherwise, but right now, it just seems long.  Plus, I have a feeling the homilies I hear this weekend will be just as long as I have not had one Sunday Mass where the preaching was less than 15 minutes.  Maybe that is what I am dreading.  In other words, this is especially being posted for my laity friends, I feel your pain.  I find my thoughts wandering after about 7 minutes and I know I have preached long than that in the past.  I don't know if I ever went over 15 minutes.  If I ever made it to 15 minutes, it might have been at the Easter Vigil.  I know that service is longer than today's gospel; however, the magnitude of that celebration has a lot of weight.  A homily on that extra special night is almost expected by the Church.

This past week was a little difficult.  When you last heard from me I was excited to be visiting friends in Palm Springs for a few days.  The unfortunate thing is that it lasted barely over 24 hours.  I still can have anxiety issues at times even WITH the medication I am taking (and have been since 2011).  It sucks when it hits.  So when I started feeling it coming on the morning after I arrived, I began just doing my best to rest and psych my mind away from it.  Nothing really worked.  There was a big gathering planned that afternoon, but my body and mind said "you can't."  Therefore, I decided to come back to San Diego, knowing that focusing my mind on something that NEEDED attention would be better than going out with my hosts.  It was very disappointing.  The afternoon I arrived up there was great.  It was hot as hell (98 degrees) and I used to be able to handle such heat without a problem.  It cools down pretty quickly after sunset, and we went to a bar to see a few people.  That was really great.  Then we went back to his home and we had dinner and sat outside on the lanai after we ate.

When people talk about being able to see the stars when there is no "light pollution," they are not joking.  We had the outside lights off and a small fire to sit around.  We may not have been talking much as we all had our devices in hand, but I was using mine trying to get a good pic of the moon.  Venus was next to it, and Orion was in the vicinity too.  There was another celestial body that MIGHT have been a star, but it seemed to be flickering red.  I don't know what it actually was.  It might have been Mars, but I don't know that for sure anymore.

After going back to San Diego, I was exhausted and went to bed.  Saturday I rested and went to evening Mass as I had been.  Nothing was said at the Mass about the attack in Iran.  I didn't find out about it until Sunday morning.  That's not a statement about the attack (I think I made my point in my previous blog), it's a statement about the effects of having the anxiety attack that I had.  Yes, I drove home two plus hours in that state, but truly felt focusing on the road would be best for me at that time, and I did just fine driving.  But I was emotionally exhausted, not physically.  Go figure.  No problems since either.

Class this week was really good.  I finished my weekly reflection AND turned in the first essay (the one I was worried about).  I haven't seen a grade yet for it, but it's off my desk.  That felt pretty good.  There was also a video the professor showed us on a method of dealing with stress and grieving.  It was interesting and something I want to explore a little bit.  The idea of the healing method is to "re-route" and "awaken" synapses in ones brain that may have been damaged by the grief or particular stress.  I don't recall a lot of the details.  I just know that I would like to be able to have some sort of method to not fall into last weekend's situation in Palm Springs.  It's going on too long. And if it can still happen to me WITH the medication I am faithfully taking, then I feel like there may be an external psychological healing method to explore.  I'll let you know how that turns out.

Keep on praying for me.  There are still over 3 months to go.  I've learned some things, but there is more to go.  I am praying for all of you too.

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